How To Break The Silent Code In Youth Sports
Somebody has taken the fun out from the game: bullying coaches and overzealous parents. If you want to break the silent code in youth sports, this article is for you.
Our sporting culture started to change dramatically in the 1970s. Sports have evolved into a multibillion-dollar industry. While professional athletics existed before this, sports that were traditionally considered amateur for children were becoming increasingly professional in terms of long-term goals.
Youth soccer, basketball, football, and hockey leagues were being labeled as breeding opportunities for future pro athletes, rather than structures that taught fair play and provided a safe place for having fun and making friends.
I’d like to talk about two sensible issues recurring in youth sports activities in this article: abusive coaches and overbearing parents on the sidelines.
This trend of professionalizing youth sports has only intensified over the decades, such that, today, parents and coaches, obsessed with children’s athletic success, often encourage youths to specialize in one sport year-round.
Because of exceptions like the Williams sisters in tennis and Tiger Woods in golf, parents and coaches believe that their children should begin intensive advanced training in one sport at the earliest age possible.
Change the Aggressive Coaching Culture and Put Sportsmanship First
Coaches play an important role in the lives of children who participate in sports. They may have an impact on whether or not young athletes enjoy sports and want to continue participating. Some coaches can motivate children to participate in sports, while others can discourage them or take the fun out of the game. A successful coach can maintain a child’s interest in sports.
Bullied children believe that something is wrong with them. This discourages them and makes them uncomfortable and insecure in sports. Young athletes are likely afraid to speak up about coach bullying. When young athletes are handled in this manner, their first response is always a feeling of shame. They believe they are to blame for the coach’s poor treatment of them.
Bullying may harm an athlete’s confidence both in and out of sports. Athletes who are bullied and singled out by coaches tend to doubt their ability to compete, which leads them to question their place in sports and so they have a hard time concentrating.
Young athletes have a habit of obsessing over the bully. “Should I shoot the ball? Is it enough for me to move the ball? Should I get rid of the ball as soon as possible?” Since they are preoccupied with obtaining approval from the coach, they concentrate on the wrong aspects during sports. They are frequently affected by how the coach would respond if they make a poor decision.
Fear does not improve a child’s athletic performance. It’s also not a good motivator, even though some coaches want to use it. Fear is a game-breaker in the mental game. Young athletes must feel safe and confident, benefiting from and enjoying sports.
Teach Parents To Become Better Fans
It has gotten to the point that you can’t participate in a youth sports game without encountering parents screaming at coaches, becoming aggressive towards other team players or parents, or loudly criticizing their children’s performance. This can turn into a toxic environment for our children. What are we teaching our children when this type of conduct is accepted, even promoted in certain circumstances?
Let’s start with parents shouting at referees. The coach and the referees are the two authoritative figures in sports. The coach is the team’s authority figure, but on game day, the referees take precedence. The decisions of the referees on the field are final, whether they are correct or incorrect.
When we played youth sport, we were told to accept the outcome and carry on. However, many parents think that their child’s rights were denied on the field and express aggressively their disapproval from the sidelines.
Parents who behave in this manner, in my view, are teaching their children that it is acceptable to disrespect authority when they disagree with a circumstance. As a result, when their children grow older will show no regard for law enforcement or their first supervisor. These parents fail to recognize that their child’s actions derive entirely from their parents’ displays as children. It’s not the kind of thing we should be teaching.
Our children should learn sportsmanship, teamwork, and how to work for a common purpose through youth sports. However, for many children these days, the most important takeaway may be that it is acceptable to be rude. The National Association of Sports Officials conducted a study, revealing that more than 70% of new referees in all sports leave their jobs within three years due to abuse and harassment.
As a result, many sports are experiencing an increasing shortage of qualified referees. This exacerbates the issue because inexperienced, younger referees are more likely to make errors. Many of the referees are under the age of 18 years old.
I urge any parent who is involved in youth sport to explain to their kids that on the field can’t everything go as planned and mistakes will be made, as a part of the game. It is not necessary for you to like it, but you must embrace it and move on. It’s a perfect life lesson. There will be things that will adversely affect your children as they grow older that you will have no influence over, such as sickness, unemployment, or family death. What do you want their reaction to being? Complaining and becoming pessimistic, or getting on and concentrating on the present?
The team’s insolent and aggressive parents can build a toxic atmosphere for the team, harming the season’s excitement. I guarantee that an abusive parent’s behavior embarrasses a child, but it’s also disturbing and inconvenient for the other parents because that behavior reflects how people see the team.
These arrogant parents yell at their children for every oversight they make and tell them exactly what moves they can make on the field. It’s unpleasant to be around this, and it’s not fair to the kids.
Practice is the best opportunity to coach a child about his actions in the game and how to play sports along with their teammates. Gameday is a chance for the child to succeed or fail. Allow it to happen naturally. Your child will benefit more from your actions rather than from a parent screaming at them all the time.
And when there will be days when your child is outperformed or outmatched, it will be a great lesson to show that is a natural part of both sports and life.
The First Step in Change Is Spreading the Word
It doesn’t matter what you believe in; if you don’t talk about it, nothing can get better. Bringing up the issue in a positive and time-sensitive manner is the most effective way to get people talking about it. If you believe there is an issue with athletes burning out and getting injured, don’t criticize those who are involved. Instead, a proactive attitude, and that confronting the challenge by getting involved in breaking the silent code can bring much change.
Leaders start acting, as waiting is not an option when the problem is currently on the rise. So, get involved on your part and act upon it, regardless of how big or small, parents, coaches, young athletes, together we can make a difference in youth sports. If you want to be part of this movement, check out our latest project.
We have organized a virtual fundraising event in May that emphasizes the importance of mental health in the sports culture. There will be a panel of experts who provide advice and guidance on how you can build a healthy relationship with your children. Your attendance at the fundraising event can play a small part in shaping your child’s life for the years to come. We hope to see you there!
More information at www.whereourchildrenplay.org!
(thank you to Andreea Purel for contributing to this article)
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